Zamalaki People
An article by Tobybonkers.
Zamalaki is a large island 2 2/3 miles west of Jawa.
The people have glasses and freckles, especially...
You know you are from the Republic of Zamalaki if...
Arts
The Zamalaki people build pipe organs.
Oral Literature
There are many mythic takes that are told which are usually 1000 verses long.
Music
The Zamalaki people play various types of folk music, mostly emphasizing vocals, percussion, and the pipe organ. The percussion is played exactly 8 beats per second.
Feast songs
Dirges are a form of feast song because you (slowly?) eat the dead. They may be sung in a monotone and a Scottish accent?
Polemics
Most songs express an idea.
Dance songs
Bathroom
The Zamalaki people urinate everywhere. They poop in the West side of everything.
Cleanliness
The Zamalaki people use nail polish very slowly. If one is too clean, you'll end up with a weak immune system and allergies. And weakness is certainly nothing a Zamalaki person wants. The worst thing to happen is for the clean people to try to pass their weakness onto their children through their genes.
Clothing
The boys wear nothing at all and the girls wear puffy-sleeved dresses. Some younger kids might wear nothing at all. Almost all boys are uncircumcised.
Economics
Food
The Zamalaki people usually eat bacon, cheese, chocolate pie, and "long bumblebees" used in bumblebee stew. I shall find some vodka?
Games
Hair
The Zamalaki people's hair is unusually bright red, lime green, or bright blue.
Health
The Zamalaki people go to hot springs often.
