Germish

Germish is a hybrid English/german dialect spoken in a private, 'Utiopian' style community, known as Germingland out side of the community, and Germanglia within, based deep in the Bavarilian forests of Southern Germania. Adjectively, the residants are called Germanglians or Germish. The language is richly inflected with both German and English grammar and vocabulary, and can be learned easily by both countrymen. In a metaphorical sense (and slighly comical), one could describe Germish as, "English and German poured into a cement mixer, mixed for a while, then poured and set!" Sounds that do not exist in either language, such as th in German, and the guttural r in English are not rendered, thus making it easier for a standard pronunciation.

Society

The Germish society is a peaceful one. The internal economy is mainly reciprocal, with much of the community’s dairy, meat and vegetable produce produced on the farm, keeping its food profits within the community. Its economy is also helped from its sponsorship deals and tourist trade, in which thousands of yearly visitors are given tours of the community, get to meet the inhabitants, and hear from and meet the people who conceived and brought to fruition the whole idea. There is also a hotel and 4 guest houses in which guests can stay, and partake in the traditional Germish way of life. Tourism and sponshorship generates between €3-4 million annually, and the main sponsor is the Home Improvement giant Aeki, who pay the community for allowing them to use Germingland in their advertising of their flatpack homes.

So why was Germingland created and why come to live here?

One basically comes to Germingland to escape the stress and intrusion of our modern, 'big brother' style society. You won’t see any street cameras here; it’s simply not necessary. There is an incredibly friendly atmosphere. It’s safe, non intrusive, and free will for personal opinion and the freedom to indulge in any religion is totally accepted. The Germish people are happy to help one another in any situation. They give not to receive, as they know that the community will provide for them whenever necessary. And contrary to outside opinion, Germingland is NOT a cult. No one person within the community is 'worshiped' (although the head of Germingland, Wes Daley is highly revered), nor controls the day to day lives of the residents. They have normal everyday material things as we do: TV, satellite, modern, trendy clothes, mobile phones etc, and are also free to travel outside the community at anytime, to visit friends, family (although most families come here as a whole), and holiday. Of course, rules and regulations are evident, as with any community, and non adherence to these rules are duly noted and dealt with in accordance to Germish law. However, it is very rare that the Germish council has to reprimand anyone, since there is a genuine respect for each other and the community itself. This is of course, the pre-requisite for coming here in the first place!

Germish grammar

Germish could be described metaphorically as: German and English shovelled into a cement mixer, poured out and set! It’s basically a blend of German and English grammar and vocabulary. Some simple sentences can sound almost entirely English, for example:

She kan runet. She can run.

Others can sound very German:

Es ist ouf de Tish. It’s on the table.

And others sound typically Germish:

She runet owf di Gras every Taag. She runs on the grass every day.

Quite simply, the blend is as follows:

Most nouns come from German
Most verbs come from English with German style conjugations
Adjectives, adverbs and modifiers come mainly from English
All other word classes are a hybrid mix.
Spelling conforms to a Germish standard

It was decided very early on that Germish would be analytic, that is to say, word order would determine sentence function. The German case system was completely dissolved, and there is no agreement between noun and adjective. In respect of this however, word order would be based on German, the past participle prefix ge was kept for verbs and conjugations were also based on German. Another linguistic feature that doesn’t feature in Germish is the heirachical address as in German (Sie). This is because Germish society reflects an 'everyone is equal' attitude. Therefore, having a formal address system would go against the moral grain. Politness and respect can be denoted from voice intonation and facial expression.

Word order

SVO with verb 2nd position in main clause. Past participles and main verbs are sent to the end after modals and auxiliaries as in German. Subordinate clauses see the main verb sent to the end, followed by the auxiliary or modal, however, in a main clause that FOLLOWS a subordinate, that main clause retains its normal word order, unlike in German where the main verb would take 1st position. Eg:

Hee hat Fütbaal güt gepläen. He had played football well.

Hee vil Fütbaal pläet, if dä im asken. He will play football if they ask him.

If dä im asken, den hee vil Fütbaal pläet. If they ask him, then he’ll play football.

TMP (Time, manner, place)

This typically moulds itself on German:

Tüdä meete i mei Froind in di Staat. I’m meeting my friend today in town.

Verbs

Germish verbs are mainly taken from English, but with German style conjugations:

Germish tenses and their English/German equivalents. Since all Germish mainn evrbs are regular, the example used is pläen-to play:

present ich spiele/I play, am playing (also renders the present progressive, or in German, Verlaufsform)

pläen to play-infinitive

i pläe I play/am playing

dü pläest you play/are playing (singular)

hee pläet he plays/is playing

she pläet she plays

es pläet it plays

dä pläen they play

vir pläen we play

man pläet one plays (impersonal)

ir pläet you play (plural)

present perfect ich habe gespielt/I have played

This tense does not use the auxiliary hafen-to have. The past participle itself denotes perfectiveness, and equates to the German perfect past and the English perfect present The pluperfect tense however (as in the English 'had played') does use the appropriate form of hafen with the past participle:

i gepläen I have played

dü gepläen you have played

hee pläen he has played

she gepläen she has played

es gepläen it has played

dä gepläen they have played

vir gepläen we have played

man gepläen one has played

ir gepläen you have played (plural)

simple past ich spielte/I played

Simple past tense adds d before conjugation:

i pläde I played

dü plädest you played

hee plädet he played

she plädet she played

es plädet it played

dä pläden they played

vir pläden we played

man plädet one played

ir plädet you played

perfect/pluperfect past ich hatte gespielt/I had played (uses appropriate form of hafen plus past participle):

i hafe gepläen I had played

dü hast gepläen you had played

hee hat gepläen he had played

she hat gepläen she had played

et hat gepläen it had played

dä hafen gepläen they had played

vir hafen gepläen we had played

man hat gepläen one had played

ir hat geplälen you had played

future ich werde spielen/I will play, am going to play

This is formed with the future auxiliary vil and the appropriate form of the main verb. Vil has no other use in Germish:

i vil pläe I will play

dü vil pläest you will play

hee vil pläet he will play

see pläet she will play

et pläet it will play

dä pläen they will play

vir pläen we will play

man pläet one will play

ir pläet you will play

perfect future ich werde gespielt haben/I will have played (same for all)

i vil gepläen I will have played

Other tenses

progressive past I was going (not rendered in German)

This tense in English is normally used in 2 ways. It can denote intention: I was going to call but I fell asleep. Or an action that was unfinished or interrupted by something else: I was reading a book when the phone rang.

Germish can equate these expressions in the following way:

Intention:

Use the simple past of intenden-to intend to:

I intendede kaalen, but i feslifden. I was going (intended) to ring but I fell asleep.

Ongoing action that stopped:

Use the simple past of the verb with the preposition as. However, the subordinate clause goes first:

As i a Bük reedede, di Telefon ringdet. I was reading a book when the phone rang.

Verb moods

Conditional would/würde. In Germish, there are 2 conditional moods. The first is a non-sunjunctive mood. This is typically used if the other clause is a but, however or when clause, and is rendered with the Germish auxiliary vud and the appropriate form of the main verb:

Present ich würde spielen/I would play

I vud pläe, but hee asket nish mish I would play, but he doesn't ask me.

Perfect present conditional ich hätte gespielt/I would have played (this can also render the future conditional, this is qualified by statement information)

I vüd gepläen, but hee askedet nish mish I would have played, but he didn't ask me.

Subjunctive conditional

The Germish subjunctive expresses wishes, desires, and those things that, to most people, are just dreams or fantasies. This is formed by changing the vowel sound of the conditional vud to vüd, and is typically used with if clauses:

If i rich vaa, den i vüd ein Ferrari beien. If I were rich, I’d buy a Ferrari.

Imperitive

The Germish imperitive uses the 3rd person singular in harsh or forceful commands. Otherwise, expressions such as directions or polite instructions are simply given as the appropriate pronoun and conjugation.

Sitet! Sit down!