Sefdaanian Ethnography Chapter 10 - Marriage

General

• Among the Six Peoples, only the Pyrans, the Hydorans, the Humans, and the Lithans practice marriage. These are the four procreating Peoples (ƶǫnle̋uðu). Marriage (ɱe̋da) is the union, legal, social and spiritual, between one man and one woman from one of the procreating Peoples. All marriages are exogamous (outside the local community) (baɱe̋di) and monogamous (semɱe̋di). In all cases, marriages are arranged by the parents of the prospective brides (ɱeðǧe̋nu) and grooms (ɱeðɱı̋ru) often with the help of a matchmaker (ma̋ngu). The guest fiancé(e) (šéþɱeðlűᵹu) spends the summer before the wedding (ɱe̋do) at the settlement of the host fiancé(e) (ɱeðlűᵹu) to ascertain compatibility between the two and with the community at large. He/she travels with his/her parents and several guards (ɱeðdı̋slu). The women travel in a wagon and the men ride their People’s steeds. He or she lives with the community leader and joins in the work of the community. At the end of the summer he/she returns to his/her own community.
• The following year the guest fiancé(e) returns to the community and, at the summer solstice (lęþsűka), a contract (ɱedı̨̋ȝa) is entered into. There may be more than one marriage at this time. A brideprice (ɱeðk̬őino) is paid to the guest fiancé(e)’s family for the loss of the guest fiancé(e)’s labor. The ɱéðk̬őino is usually a male or female from the host fiancé(e)’s herd or flock. In this way new blood is added to the flock or herd of the guest fiancé(e)’s parents.
• The marriage ceremony (ɱeðtők̬o) takes place in the community house (koinde̋mo). The ceremony has both religious and civil components. It is presided over by the head of the community (nę̋ilu). In the presence of the whole community the couple exchange vows and rings, prayers are said, and songs are sung. The ceremony concludes with the signing of the contract. It is signed by the community scribe (ȝa̋rlu) and any others present who can write. Many people learn how to sign their names just for weddings.
• After the marriage ceremony there is a feast (ɱeðsa̋ro). The main course is the meat brought by the guest family. This course consists of a whole roasted reindeer, horse, or yak or, at a Hydoran wedding, grilled fish. The heart is served to the newlyweds, sliced and grilled.
• Wedding gifts consist of household items. Among the Pyrans, Hydorans and Lithans, the groom must build a house before the bride arrives. Help in building the house is one of the gifts of the community to the newlyweds.

Specific

• Marriage for the Pyrans, although a matriarchal society, is patrilocal. The bride goes to the groom's da̋bo. Once at her new home, the bride becomes a daughter of the matriarch with all the rights and privileges which that entails. The ɱeðk̬őino consists of a reindeer bull and cow which are added to the guest family’s herd.
• For the Hydorans, marriage is matrilocal. The groom goes to the bride's ną̋do and takes up residence in the men’s communal house (koinde̋mo). The ɱeðk̬őino is an agreed-upon quantity of dried fish.
• Marriage for the Humans, although a matriarchal society, is patrilocal. The bride goes to the groom's ce̋imo. Once at her new home, the bride becomes a daughter of the matriarch with all the rights and privileges which that entails. The ɱeðk̬őino consists of a stallion and a mare which are added to the guest family’s herd.
• For the Lithans, marriage is patrilocal. The bride goes to the groom's kı̋lo. Once at her new home, the bride becomes a daughter of the matriarch with all the rights and privileges which that entails. The ɱeðk̬őino consists of a yak bull and cow which are added to the guest family’s herd.
• In the case of the Pyrans, Humans and Lithans, the bride brings with her a dowry (“ɱéðǧenűðo”) which consists of household items given to her and a young dog to introduce new blood into the host family’s pack.
• Should a young man or woman decide to enter a caravansary (saþda̋ro), his or her labor is lost to the community. In partial compensation, the caravansary offers toll-free passage across the river for the lifetime of the member’s community.

Divorce

• Divorce (þ̇orɱı̋a) does not exist in Sefdaania, but there can be separation from bed, but not board, for certain offenses such as adultery or abuse. This is mediated by the various local councils. Any children of the marriage continue to live with the aggrieved spouse (dégaþɱe̋daþu) until they reach their majority. The guilty spouse (osɱe̋daþu) has to make his or her own arrangements. Should the aggrieved parent die, members of the extended family help to raise the children. The guilty spouse may not remarry, but the aggrieved spouse may. Legally and socially the aggrieved spouse is considered to be widowed. An aggrieved wife may become the co-wife (ga̋mu) of another male, should the male's wife agree to the arrangement.

Adultery

• Laws regarding forbidden sexual relations
  • 1. If a male shall lie with a virgin, he shall pay the father or the caravansary a solatium (deᵹdőþo) of a newborn from his flock or herd.
  • 2. If a child is conceived, he shall pay the father or the caravansary a double solatium.
  • 3. If a male shall lie with an unmarried female, he shall pay the father or the caravansary a solatium (deᵹpı̨̋no) of a newborn from his flock or herd.
  • 4. If a child is conceived, he shall pay the father or the caravansary a double solatium.
  • 5. If a male shall lie with a married female, he shall pay the aggrieved husband a solatium.
  • 6.If a child is conceived, he shall pay the husband a double solatium and shall forfeit all rights over the child.
  • 7.If a male shall lie with a widow, he shall pay her a solatium.
  • 8. If a male shall lie with
    • i. his mother or mother-in-law,
    • ii. his sister or his sister-in-law,
    • iii. his daughter or daughter-in-law,
    • v. his mother’s or father’s sister or sister-in-law,
    • v. his mother’s or father’s sister’s or sister-in-law’s daughter or daughter-in-law,
    • vi. his mother’s or father’s brother’s or brother-in-law’s daughter or daughter-in-law,
    • vii. his granddaughter,
    • viii. his mother’s or father’s sister’s or sister-in-law’s daughter’s or daughter-in-law’s daughter,
    • ix. his mother’s or father’s brother’s or brother-in-law’s daughter’s or daughter-in-law’s daughter,
    • x. his mother’s or father’s sister’s or sister-in-law’s son’s or son-in-law’s daughter,
    • xi. his mother’s or father’s brother’s or brother-in-law’s son’s or som-in-law’s daughter,
    • xii. any female ancestor or descendant in a direct line, he shall pay the aggrieved male, a solatium according to nos. 1, 2, 3, or 4.
  • 9. If a child is conceived, he shall pay the aggrieved male a double solatium and shall forfeit all rights over the child.
  • 10. If there is a second offense, the male shall be tattooed and exiled with his steed.
  • 11. If a male shall forcibly lie with a male, he shall be tattooed, have his penis amputated, and be exiled with his steed.
  • 12. If two males shall consensually lie with each other, they shall be tattooed, have their penises amputated, and be exiled with their steeds.
  • 13. If the aggrieved wife in these circumstances wishes, she may request to be separated from bed from her husband, but not from board. The guilty husband may not remarry, although the aggrieved wife may.
• Notes:
  • 1. Sefdaanian law distinguishes between paternity and fatherhood. Paternity is based on the contribution of sperm and ova. Fatherhood is based on who raises the child. There are no illegitimate children.
  • 2. The male(s) in the case of #11 and #12 has three options:
    • a. to live a solitary life,
    • b. to join the company of the evil Tseliu, or
    • c. to enter a caravansary.